To all of you who were present at Brussels’ ultimate ‘inside the Beltway’ insiders event on Saturday night, the Journalists Review – count yourselves lucky. The show sells out weeks in advance and tickets are like proverbial gold dust. 

A Matter of Life and Debt was the theme this year for a series of sketches and songs in the good British tradition put on by Brussels hacks and the European Commission’s spokesman’s service (Yes, the EC can have a sense of humour). And in a bow to Washington, DC, where Presidents and Government Secretaries regularly attend what the Americans refer to as ‘Roasts’, this year’s Journalist Review also saw Commissioner Viviane Reding and European Council President Herman Van Rompuy. Indeed - hats off to the pair for having had the courage to turn up to be lampooned (sometimes quite mercilessly, but never cruelly). Perhaps the tensest moment was when Geoff Meade described Reding as dirty, smelly and horrible before delivering the punchline – “horrible town Reading” (queue collective sigh of relief). [Quirk of English pronunciation that the quaint Berkshire town is pronounced ‘redding’). 

Then there was also an exquisite spoof of Viviane Reding perfume shopping. On recoiling after smelling something rather fetid, she is further ‘disgusted’ by the fawning French salesclerk’s apparent racist remark: “Well madam if you do not like the aROMA you can always send it back”. Needless to say, aROMA was fodder for endless jokes about the French. The Commissioner closed by instructing the hapless clerk to ring his boss with the brilliant punchline: “and thanks to my legislation, it will only cost you €0.49 per minute” referring of course to her previous mandate when she regulated the telecoms industry.

It is a shame that Herman didn’t stick around for the second half to witness his own uncanny impersonation – performed by Geoff. A Haiku was of course included – “Cruel wind you do blow.....”

There were so many good moments it’s hard to pick out only a few (and represent them accurately!).  But here’s our attempt at the ‘highlights’.

• The weather forecast – Cyclone Silvio and its surprising persistent tail-end activity causing a dirty mess over Italy
• The EU’s ‘Poet Laureate’ – “All the single market, all the single market, all the single market, all the single market, if you liked it then you should have but a compulsory enforcement mechanism on it”
• The Weakest link - "Bank!" yells Cowen. "It's a little late for that Brian"… replies a deliciously cruel Anne-like Cathy Smith. 
• The brilliant ‘when I’m cleaning windows’ (at the Berlaymont) song performed with a banjo. Excerpt:  “…… everywhere, people dance in underwear, that’s how they choose their stagiaires, when I’m cleaning windows”
• Kelly’s Boom Bunga Bunga about Berlusconi to the tune of Lulu's Boom bang a Bang Eurovision song  

So our warm congratulations go to Jacki Davis, Nigel Griffiths (who was brilliant with all the sound effects), Patricia Kelly (who doubled as wardrobe mistress), Teresa Kuchler, Duncan Lumsden, Debbie Mackenzie, Geoff Meade (the man!), Tony O'Donnell, Stanley Pignal, John Robinson, Cathy Smith, and John Wyles.  There were also sketches by a group of German journalists, and the aforementioned spokesman’s service, so indeed, as the Playbill said: Geoff Meade and a cast of thousands!

The evening was topped off by the house band, and lots and lots to drink! And proceeds as always went to charity.